Getting Old

     Until I was 21, I always looked forward to my birthday, to turning a yesa older. Now, it seems that 22 or 23 is old, although some people would tease me and say that I'm not old at all, but 23 is just as big of a number as 21, maybe bigger, and, no, I am not particularly mathematically challenged. When you're 21, you still have the comfort of college, but when you're 23, you're really grown up, in a sense. You have to start your adult life. Have to be responsible for yourself, have to really decide on the course of your life. Even in college you are still not quite set in life. You can still change your mind. 21 is the big birthday, the day of emancipation, but it never really was for me. Now that I'm two years older, I find myself a whole lot more grown up than I was two years ago, whether I'm ready for it or not. Maybe it's just because I'm starting something totally new. Maybe I felt is way when I started college. I don't remember. But looking back, I get the feeling that now things are different.
    But I don't want to feel old. One day when I'm white-haired, and I hope I get my paternal grandfather's gorgeous white hair, I want to be happy about it. There is something romantic for me about being old and wise, hopefully. I want to grow into a wise, white-haired energetic 100 year old. It seems like a shame to me to spend the first 21 years of your life wanting to be older and then the rest of your years wishing you were 21. One just ends up being doscontent one's whole life.
     So right now, I'm one year closer to my goal. And really, I am living more than a dream. It doesn't feel like it, but really, it's pretty amazing. I'm living halfway across the world, teaching English, doing missons. I would say that I'm making my life count.